Importacne Of Defeats

This is my first post here .Actually posting anything first time in any blog.
This is a kind of story that will greet you with a situation which i think 90% of people of my age group faces .So this is just to give u an idea what actually are our defeats made for.
so here it is:

What are my defeats ???
That I can’t perform in class 10 or that I can’t perform again in 12th or that when I dint get any good result in my first attempt of Engineering Entrance Exams or that one when even trying so much harder I even get worse results in Entrance Exams next year.
I don’t know what are they but they have defeated me, they have left me starving and force me to think ,
Is it really doesn’t matter how much effort I put I will be landed in the same results???
Is defeat has become my destiny in watever work I do???
Is I have lost that person in me who was once a winner???
Is that spirit has completely lost which keep me forcing to keep up with my results for seven continuous years???
Where that person gone who never say die to any situation???
Where that person gone who always see a ray of light in every damn situation???
Where?? Where??

Actually , after the results of my drop year and landing in a place where I never wanna be .I have no answer for all of these questions .I was so hopeless , so much disturbed , so much exhausted ,without any aim left in my mind , without any dreams left in my eyes. I just don’t know what I will do now?? What I wanna do ?? Know nothing .Just Nothing.

I am always a good counselor for others , not that I am boasting myself but I really know that , but another fact is that I can’t counsel myself ever. Actually noone can counsel himself as when you try to do that you always get confused in your views only .But at that time I am really in a need of another me ,who can tell me where I went wrong , who can support me .My parents are there with me but the support that a person in my condition wants can be given by a person of my age group only but that person I never get.
So finally I decided to put all the blame on destiny and with that attitude I entered in my college life.
There my approach was different totally coz I wanna change myself completely. I wanna kill myself and become like others ,who never studied as hard as I did but still are in a better place than me. And I succeeded in that too .From College’s first day my approach was to do masti ,enjoy life and keep away from studies as far as possible. Made a good group there with whom bunked classes , played basketballs in class timings and every other sort of fun, Movies , Mc Donalds ,etc .Just everything. Internals came and go , just study in internal days and get good marks. Really felt good .As first time I am putting less effort and getting more output. Where the first SEM go dint know ?? Actually when the semester exams came ,pata hi nahin chala. Then try to study but that habit was gone and with only that less study gave my exams and to my surprise even the exams gone very good. The result came and that was just amazing ,that I can not even believe.
But u know wad???
That result was my BIGGEST DEFEAT.
Its bigger then my bad 10th result , bitter den 12th one and worst then my drop year one.
Yes that’s the truth that I have found .This damn truth is hurting , very confusing and have no sense at all in eyes of people who are around us.
But truth is always in that form only. People just fear to face it.
Yes my first semester’s good results are my biggest defeat.
Why??
Lemme tell u. Wenever I get bad result I stood up with more confidence to face the next challenge. To show ,not to others , but just to me that I am not weak , I am not just a damn person lost in the world’s crowd. So every time I tried harder and failed .But that failure still is not complete failure coz that makes me strong internally , mentally and increases my confidence to face challenges.
But present result , it just asks me to keep doing what others are doing .To keep my identity lost in this crowd , to become just a damn engineer whose counting are in lakhs in our country.
To just not see any big dream as people like me will never get to that dream.To just be a stupid common man.

But when i took this result as my defeat ,this defeat again proves a teacher for me. It makes me realize that I am not a one from the crowd .It gives me the answer of my questions which at that time I dint get.
It tells me that No defeat is not your final destination , all these defeats you are facing coz you need strength for a much bigger thing.
It tell me that the person in me has gone nowhere , it is still with me and will remain there always just I am not allowing him to come out with full energy.
It tells me that I have not stopped dreaming neither my aims get destroyed from my mind , just the fact is that I am not letting them talk to me.
So again this defeat gives me a ray of hope , a motive to live my life , a new challenge to be completed and most important it has given me myself back.

So with this new energy ,with this new motivation I am again riding on the horse to chase my dreams ,with sword in my hand and eye on my aim ,What happen if I fall again in this race while fighting with any obstacle in between , What happen if I get bruises of evil words of criticization of people around me , but all this can never stop me from moving forward , may be they can slow me down but my every fall and my every bruise will strengthen me and made me more desperate for my destination .As now there is no end for me because I have understood that:

""No defeat is final & no bruise is permanent ,
Until U reach Ur Final Goal and break it into Fragments.""