Baby Don't Know Why...?

Days and night go on and on

When i was thinking about this song

Coz i just want to say something

But when you come i just go missing

There's a reason

Why all this happen

It's just not a co-incidence

Baby don't know why

You never understand that

I can't love no one else

No matter how far

You go away from me

Only you will be my strength

I've been with you from so so long

Still why with you i don't belong

I know you've been through hard times

But what i've to do with this crime

Let go the past

Embrace my love

Try and give me a single chance

Baby don't know why

You never understand that

I can't love no one else

No matter how far

You go away from me

Only you will be my strength............

Random feelings 5

Tere saath nahin, par tere pass hu main

Tere dil me basa ek pyaara sa ehsaas hu main

Maana ki mujhse ruthi hui h aaj tu

Fir bhi tere liye sabse khaas hu main.....

P.S: No translation this time, coz its going too bad......

Would you ever know ?

Why you lie to me, when you know I know you more than you do

Why you become upset, when you know I can bring that smile back

Why you want to be alone, when you know I won’t let you enjoy loneliness

Why you start ignoring me, when you know you can’t hide your tears from me

Why?

Just why?

Would you ever know, that your every lie gives me a fresh wound

Would you ever know, that your sadness made my world to stop

Would you ever know, that your loneliness leaves me deserted

Would you ever know, that your tears crash my whole world

Would you ever know?

P.S: One of the beautiful part of life is when you have a person who cares for you no matter who you are.........

Random feelings 1

Jab jindagi se koi umeed nain rhi thi

Tab tune haath pakadkar jeena sikhaya

Agar yuhin saath chodke jaana tha ek din, mere dost

Toh kyun is rote hue dil ko hasna sikhaya......

*********

When all expectations from life has been washed away

You were the one who show me how to live

If you too have to leave like this one day, my friend

Then why you made this crying heart learn how to smile......

P.S : Random thoughts really taking a toll on me...

Caught Behind The Mirror

Mirror

What an amazing creation?

It depicts our reflection in itself

Which shows us our true-selves

No matter what others are blabbering about you

Criticising you or appreciating you

Truth can always be seen in the mirror

In other words

It shows us our souls

From which we can't hide anything

But what when we are caught on the other side of it

From where we can't see any reflection

Coz we ourselves are the reflection now

We can't feel anything now

Noone's warmth

Noone's love

Just nothing

Can just see everyone passing by

It feels as if our soul has been snatched

It feels like getting trapped

Only our impression is on the mirror

Which is invisible to the outside world.......

Drug Named "LOVE"

I am fighting with this poison from many years

The poison thats destroying our youth

Which is making them a slave of itself

But i am encapsuled in its arms today

As nothing else might suffice for me now

Nothing else gives me strength to shoulder this grief

The grief of killing my own love

My love that's most precious for me

For me, a loner who is devoid of love

But i have no choice

Coz she's the one who is behind all this

Behind all the drug trafficking going on

And i can't let her carry on

Carry on this dirty business

And playing with life of innocent people

I did nothing wrong, but her last words

Words that she said while dying in my arms

"I am more addicted to your...........LOVE "

Words that echo in my head all day long

Coz i am a killer of myself

This poison business is totally eradicated now

But some of this poison is still with me

Getting accumulated in my blood

I might have won the battle against drugs

But i myself lost against the drug named "LOVE"

P.S: Feelings of an officer who eradicated drug trafficking but himself get encaptured in this poison..........

What I Never Said.....

I never meant to break your heart

Neither i ever want to leave you alone

But i have no choice

Coz from "You" and "Me"

I can only select "You"

And i know that's the right choice

May be you'll never know the truth

May be you'll hate me for the rest of your life

But i don't care

Coz what i care for, is now secure

"You" defines me

"You" completes me

Non-existence is much better than being................ incomplete

(p.s: i don't know what's going on in my mind, but please bear it if you don't like it, coz i am totally messed up nowadays......)

WHEN IT NO LONGER MATTERS

Vritika is in a great mood today. She has been promoted to a higher post and has bagged a handsome salary hike. One other reason for her smiling face being her parents’ accepting her idea of meeting her love’s parents’. Everything was going just perfect for her.

At day's end, as usual she opens up gmail, to share this information with all her friends.

As soon as the gmail popped up in front of her eyes, her smile gets a little faded coz the first mail in her inbox was an e-card from her ex-best friend Prasoon.

They both have been best friends till graduation but as a little mis-understanding always proved fatal for any relationship, same proves here breaking that strong bond. Prasoon had tried many times to persuade her to listen him, but he can’t succeed.

With time things become a little better and they decided to remain casual friends.Thus, now they exchange "hellos" and a little "how are you" stuff only ….

She calmed herself & her finger banged on the delete button,as she don’t wanna spoil her mood today……

A WEEK LATER

Vratika was sitting idle on her lappy and she realized that she hadn’t received any scraps from Prasoon from last many days, further looking in sb makes her aware that he hasn’t been in touch from last 2-3 months…..she faintly remember a day, when she was busy in a meeting arnd 20 days back ,she got a call from him but she cant accept it and then she forget about that ,coz she's too busy with her own life. Her heart was little worried and started pouncing.She quickly opened gmail & went to delete mails folder and hesitatingly opened that old e-card……..

It’s a beautiful card showing some beautiful moments between two friends and in last saying “Bye Forever”. She was shocked and confused,simultaneously…..and her mouth uttered “what th hell is that”.

Then her eyes gazed at the personal message beyond th card, but she can’t stop cursing herself after reading that:

If you get this e-card, it means I am no more in this world…….I know may be you take it as a joke from my side, but this time its true…..so much true that even after so desperately wanting to be with you right now and laugh at these words........I can not……..

Well, I got an injury last year and that will exaggerate to the extent that it will devoid me of my life, I haven’t ever imagined that. Finally, I am flowing to America for my last surgery in which my chances of returning are very less.So I used this card to tell you my ought to be last words that I can’t say directly.

I miss you a lot dear….really , I can’t tell how I am leading my life without my best friend by my side.I miss sharing all those stupid secrets and the small fights that occur almost daily and those college bunks and consoling you when you feel low after scoring badly and that dish that you once cooked all by yourself and................ huhhhh, there's so much of those sweet memories.

You know what trouble me most is that all this came to an end just coz you started loving me and I can’t accept you more than as a best friend and you started thinking that I just used you. I can’t even think in that way ever ……But you never geve me.a chance to explain all this to you.I just wish I can see you & talk with you one last time before leaving, but it seems quite an impossible task but still I will call you for sure before going to the OT ,may be you pick up this time. So that's all crap i wanna utter before you, hope i can see this letter again and laugh at it sitting next to you.Lastly, i would like to say these:

No matter wherever i go

I will always remain by your side

If life remains, then as a supporting shoulder

And if not,then as the wind, that around you glide.

I wish you get all the success & happiness in life .

With all the world’s happiness and regards

Your so called best friend

Prasoon

She got wet in the rainfall of her own tears and sadness, but all that remorse can't undone the things.All possible may be's come in her mind, but she can't get positive result of any of them...........Now, she was left with only memories of him.Prasoon always say : "Friendship between a guy and a gal is a blessing, unless it turns to an one sided love", she always take it as a joke but understand it's meaning now, at a time when it no longer matters.

There's No Dawn For Me

I am fighting

And fighting

And fighting

With this darkness from a long long time.

Again I get bruised, broken and defeated

But making the enemy more weaker

I am so desperate for dawn that I keep trying

Again and again and again

Why??

Why???

Even after putting so much effort

Bearing so much pain

Shedding so much blood

I can’t reach for the dawn till now??

This question was unanswered as always

But a hope that next battle will be the last one

Drives power in my broken body

Battle gets fiercer every time

Demanding more of my blood

And giving more bruises

But this time things get in my control

And finally I won

Yes, I get passed from the darkness

And rode the path leading to the dawn

My victory was sweet but some what bitter too

As I was standing at the line separating

Dark night and the dawn

I see backward and remembered

Whenever darkness was occupied with me

Many weak people who were trapped in darkness

From a long time

Reach for their destination

Easily, effortlessly and

Without shedding their blood

Is it really worth to reach for the dawn??

My absence from darkness means

Many of them will remain trapped in darkness forever

Though my presence in dawn doesn’t matter for anyone

But my presence in darkness

Ensures a safe passage for many

These thoughts overpower my desperation for dawn.

I took a closer look at the dawn and said, “Next time”

I return back

Back to the battle ground

Back to my armors and swords

Coz I realized that the real battle has just begun

All my questions were answered today

As deep inside I now know that:

“There’s Never A Dawn For Me”

.

Loneliness Doesn't Haunt Me Anymore

Locked inside a dark room

My nerves were down

My eyes filled with fear

My face seems pale

Was looking around the dark room

With lost hopes

And shattered dreams

Loneliness haunts me

Suddenly the door opened

Some light blinded my eyes

Beneath the light was a girl

To me she seems like snow white

She clinched my hand

And bring me to outer world

To my surprise

It dusn’t seem so worse

Lyf has changed completely

In an instant of time

Sorrows get replaced by happiness

And tears with smile

To me it’s a new beginning

With a new hope and thinking

My world seems blessed

With a friend like that

The sun sets again

And snatched light from my life too

The person who give me light

Left me alone in that dark night

I tried to figure out the things

But all goes in vain

As my life again proves to me

That its all about losses more than gain

Tired and broken I came back

Thinking of the reasons

That gave me this setback

The light turned off

The room gets bolted

I was sitting on the floor like before I did

My eyes were glittering

My face was strong

No more sorrows

No more pain

Coz

Loneliness doesn’t haunt me anymore

It's already been 15 days since the last year ,2009 has bidden goodbye to us and 2010 has made entry in our lives, but my exams were at special times, thus i am away. Although I am thankful to my exams as first 12 days of my year has gone in studying. So not at all a bad starting for 2010, with books in my hand and loneliness in my mind...........

Here's something in memory of 2009, writing anything after about 2 months, don't know how will it be....?

The year has finally bid goodbye

But deep in my heart it will always stand by

Neither for happiness it has showered

Nor for the sadness it has poured

But for the sake of humanity being again awaken

And the lonely man i have again become

My world has turned upside-down

Amidst which i am standing just like a clown

Watching all the proceedings goin on

My little sand house blowing on

I can not bear this anymore

My sea of frustration has risen above the shore

Alterations have started coming in me

Making me the guy that world wants me to be

I have lost my own self identity

And turned into an indistinguishable entity

In this way loneliness haunts me

Snatching humanity that i carry with me

Each and every moment i mourn for my loss

And all this let evil forces become my boss

But year end was not at all the same

Something has again brighten my inner flame

The flame that remembered me myself

I felt like being rescued by a magical elf

My shattered confidence has came back

Making me strong

Making me indestructible

Giving me back the original me

I still mourn for my loss sometimes

But that pain doesn't make me weak anymore

P.S : Happy New Year 2010 to everyone.........

Kabhi Main Bhi Insan Hua Karta Tha / I Used To Be A Human Once

Ek samay tha jab main bhi jiya karta tha

Kuch sapne aankhon mein liye rakhta tha

Par aaj yaad aata hai wo zamana

Jab main bhi insaan hua karta tha

Is seene mein ek chota sa dil tha

Jo kisi ke liye dhadka kiya karta tha

Par humen mila sirf dard-e-ishq

Wo to kisi aur se mohabbat kiya karta tha

Fir aaj us mohabbat ne yaad dilaya

Ki kabhi main bhi insaan hua karta tha

Doston ke har dard ko unse pehle

Mujhse hokar gujarna padta tha

Par wo dost bhi mujhey ye kehkar tanhan chod gaye

ki tu to hamari bas ek zarurat hua karta tha

Wo tanhan raatein aaj ehsaas karati hain

Ki ek zamane mein main bhi insaan hua karta tha

Duniya har pal mere saath hoti thi

Jab main kaamyabi ke shikhar pe hua karta tha

Par jab-jab thokar khake gira us shikhar se

Mujhe rone ke liye kandha bhi nahin milta tha

Un aansu bhari aankhon ki kasam

Tab main bhi insaan hua karta tha

Aaj ye dil pathar ho chuka hai

Fir bhi mere liye sabka dil dhadakta hai

Mere liye dosti mehez shabd se zyada kuch nahin rahi ab

Fir bhi har koi mujhse dosti ke liye tarasta hai

Ab insaniyat se koi waasta nahin raha mera

Fir bhi har koi mujhe behtar insaan samajhta hai

Is sab ko dekhkar mein hanskar khud se sawal karta hun

Kyun main kabhi ek insaan hua karta tha??

Kyun main kabhi ek insaan hua karta tha??

*****************************

Once upon a time I too used to live

Having some dreams in my eyes

But today I remember that world

When I used to be a human

There was a small heart behind my chest

That used to beat for someone

But I got only pain of love

Coz she used to love someone else

But today that love made me remember

At that time I too used to be a human

All the pain of my friends

Have to pass through me before reaching them

Those friends too leave me alone by saying

That I used to be a mere need of them

Those lonely nights made me realize

At a time I too used to be a human

World was with me always

When I am touching the heights of success

Whenever I fell from that height

I never get a shoulder to even cry

I swear those tear-filled eyes

I used to be human at that time

Today my heart has become rock

Still people’s heart beat for me

Friendship does not remain more than a word for me now

Still everyone desire to become my friend

I don’t have any relation with humanity now

Still the whole world assumes me to be a good and better human

Seeing all this I laugh and ask one question to myself

Why I used to be a human at a time??

Why I used to be a human at a time??

Price Of Not Trusting Him

It is around 11 in night & its raining cats and rain from last 4 days. The lightning was roaring like a wounded lion. Everyone was waiting for this weather to change so that life can turn back on track, people are trapped inside their houses but on the terrace of a 13 Floor building, someone is not cared about it, someone is just trying to hide his broken soul in this lunatic climate. A guy in his early 20’s, was drinking there from the evening.

While taking his first drink, he remembered:

“She: Hey you are the best thing I have ever had in my life, how will I take care of things if you are not with me. You are really a best friend that everyone just dreams of.”

With next one:

“He: I have heard something happen during dance practice today for fest?

She: Arey my dance partner, Alok, he tried to touch me here and there while dancing, I gave him a tight slap and disciplinary committee is too acting against him.

He: I will not leave that bastard, I will…………

She (interrupting him): Don’t do anything yaar, I don’t want you to fall in any trouble and action is taken against him na, so calm down.”

Making another shot of vodka:

“She: Mmmmmm.I have to confess something, but yaar please don’t get angry on this, promise me first.

He: Okk promise.

She: mmmmm actually, I was talking with a guy, I mean with Rohit from last one month. He is really a very nice guy, I have gone on lunch with him too, many times……….actually he proposed me and I have said “Yes”.

He: What?? All this is going from so many days and you are telling me now……..What is this yaar? I mean you hide things from me too…………

She: You have promised something….

He: Ok ok but…….Congrats!!! Yaar.......I wish you two have a great life.”

As he finished another glass:

“She: Yaar today is Rohit’s birthday and he is giving a party at his place, but I am very very ill, I want you to take my gift and give it to him personally…….plzzzzzzz”

“At rohit’s place:

Rohit: You have brought that pill, I have asked for. Once, this go inside her and she gets unconscious, then we both will fuck that bitch. Let her know the consequences of getting you suspended from college.

Alok: You are a true friend dude. I will make her mms too; let everyone see the punishment of that bitch Our plan is nearing the end.”

While routing the whole bottle towards his mouth:

“She: How dare you touch him? He has told me everything……….He is in hospital with so many broken parts…….I have send you for what and you have done what…..

He: But listen to me yaar………he is ……..

She : I just don’t want to listen anything………he has told me many times that you hate him and see him weirdly but I never believe……..I wish I had…..

He: But he was planning to rape you……….

She slapped him in front of everyone, “I never know that you will become so cheap to separate us. I was cursing the day I have made you my friend……….Just get lost from here and never show me your face again…….

He: But…….

She: Just go to hell………..”

With every drink, he was remembering the past…….and bang his fist on the table. His salty tears were getting mixed with the fresh rain water…………he was drinking continuously……

His tears stop and he move towards the edge of terrace, he looked towards heaven and murmured something. Take out his mobile, made a call…….it was disconnected from the other end. He again tried……..again disconnected. After 7 continuous attempts he succeeded

She: Why the hell you can’t let me peacefully?

He: Plz don’t hang up…….I am begging you. (his voice was showing his complete condition)

She: Have you drink?

He: That does not matter…..Actually nothing matters now (laughingly). I know everything is over but I just want to warn you……

She: So Again some new trick?

He: Please don’t hung up…….don’t do it…..don’t…..

She: You are not in a state, we will talk tomorrow….

He: No No No ……..Plz don’t hung up…….I don’t have tomorrow….I just want to say that ………yeah that I just always want to see you happy…………..

(pause)

She: Hello you there……..

He: yeah yeah yeah …………..don’t hung up please…….I just want you to get every happiness of the world…….

(a long pause)

Just stay away from that …….that Rohit……he is Alok’s friend……..and and not a right guy for you…..

You wish me to go to hell na……ha ha ha ha ha so granting you that too

Just take good care……..good care of yourself….

She: Hey don’t do…… (beep beep beep)

Phone disconnected, she tried many times but phone was switched off, The first thing she saw in morning news is:

“A guy, in his early 20’s, fell off the 13^th floor of a building and died on the spot .Further investigations showed that he was quite heavily drunk Most mysterious thing is a note obtained from his jeans having the words: Even court trust the word of a dying person, why don’t you trust mine? ”

P.S: Sometimes it's just not in our hands....we ourself forces us towards destruction.

P.P.S:We should not neglect friend's points when we fall in love...

Unheard Feelings Of A Personal Diary

Hi friends. Many of you are quite familiar with me, talk with me daily, and share your sorrows, joy just everything with me but my bad luck is that I can never respond to you. I can never show my dancing heart when you are happy or my crying eyes when you are sad. Thinking who am I???

I am your personal diary. Yes, the same personal diary which was kept in your shelf or hidden underneath your clothes in almirah or kept between old books unused for several years, and many other hideouts so that no one can know your personal talks with me.

But I wanna say many things, express my feelings, give my suggestions and have many other things to say to you but I never get a chance. But today my heart is full of grief and wants to spill it out. Today I am here to tell you about a girl, whom I hate in beginning but now I just cry in her sadness everyday………..

This is the first thing she wrote on me:

Dear Diary

I don’t know what to do with my boyfriend Sam, he is just so sweet, caring & loves me a lot but I just can’t stick with him anymore. But he is not ready to do breakup, I mean I have tried everything but he just forgives me for all the things…..That’s why I have started dating other guys without his knowledge. Ooppsss what else can I do. I know he is such a stupid that he will never know, so I will solve both problems in this way. I just want to search a right guy but it always keeps avoiding me, but will find it some day.

All this just gives me an impression that how heartless girl she is, I was too angry that how can a girl do this with a guy who loves her so much. He is the right guy for whom she is searching but my words have no means to reach her. She keep on telling me about the every new guy she date but no one was right according to her and also about the false excuses that she gave to Sam and he just accepts it with a smile.

But that day she was troubled by something, I can feel that. As she starts scribing these words on me:

Dear Diary

I don’t wanna do this anymore. I can’t see him dying anymore. I know that he knows that I am unfaithful to him but he still didn’t say a word to me ever. I know every time I lie to him, he dies a little more from inside. I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I am just feeling that I am taking his life away from him, like a murderer. I just wanna see him happy, but don’t know how? I just want a way out of this thing so that I can see him smiling again... I can’t see him dying anymore………but what to do?

As I read these I was shocked, coz I don’t know that this gal can b so emotional too and though she is not realizing but he loves that guy. Yeah, I know that it is the truth but I can’t raise my voice and say, “Hey stupid gal! He’s your guy for whom you are searching for.”

For next some days I only heard from her about daily routines only, but one day she was quite happy……

Dear Diary

Finally it’s over. Sam got a placement and he is finally moving to another city for the job. I am so excited, now he won’t have to be in pain coz of me. He will be freed from everything now……..all betrayals, all pain everything. He will get the life he deserved now, full of happiness and joy. Thanku Jesus. Thanku! Thanku! Thanku! Also I will be free to date anyone now…..yippeeee!!

I was not getting that what is the reason actually for her happiness, that she will be free to go on dates with anyone she wants or that Sam will be free from pain now. I got confused but thought that time will tell me what the original stuff is?

As expected she was happy for next some days but after that, she stopped going outside, to parties, to movies, everything…….

Dear Diary

I don’t know what’s happening with me. I am not feeling like doing anything. I am missing Sam a bit. Just a bit…..No may be a little more than a bit, or even more than that or may be more than just anything else in my life. But I should not behave like that; I mean I always wanted that then why I am miserable now. I don’t feel like dating anyone, I don’t feel partying, I just want to talk to him but don’t have his new number, neither he even called once. Ok ok .I know he’s been to a new city, he will be busy in setting up the things there but at least he can call me once. Do I love him…..??? No!!!! That can’t be the truth; he’s not that perfect guy. But yeah may be he’s just better than anyone else….Ohh I am so so confused……lemme go and catch some sleep. Yeah that will be better…. (She closed the diary, went to bed, but again jumped back and opened it) Do you really think that I love him???

Oh oh oh , so that’s what I was expecting from this gal, I know she will take some more time to accept it but still at least she realizes the thing now. I thought that everything will settle soon.

But for next some days I didn’t hear anything from her. I was totally puzzled that what can be the reason for this, but I really can’t figure that now and when finally she came, she was looking miserable. She was looking so pathetic that I just wish to stretch my arms and give her a hug and ask the reason for her this miserable cond. but damn I can’t do that. She started telling me a tragedy:

Dear Diary

(Two pearls from her fell from her eyes & make me wet)

Everything is over now. I never realized that he loves me more than anyone else can do and I always keep on searching for the thing that is just in front of my eyes. But now it’s too late for me to realize all this, as he has surrendered to his family pressure of getting engaged and is engaged to some gal. How can he do so with me?? He said he loves me a lot……..but I never make him mine. No!!! That gal can never care for him in the way like I do…..but may be she will also not give him any pain and at least she will care single heartedly for him. But can he live without me……..of course, in last days when I was with him, I too didn’t spend so much time with him so he is quite used to it. Can I live without him??? No!!! Not at all!!! But I deserve this only , I always give him pain, though I never want but still for a stupid girl like me this should be the only fate……What should I do??? I have no one else except him…..???......But I will never tell him all this as I don’t want to spoil his life anymore………let him get all happiness at least………..

If I had my way, I will never let her do this mistake coz I know that guy will also be happy without her, ever in his life but who will make this understand to this gal. She never told her anything, and finally the guy gets married. It’s been many months, but still the sorrow was intact with her and I can’t do anything to cheer her up. I just wish she had shared all these feelings with some close friend who can save her from this fate……..

I just want to ask one question???

Why you people trust a non-living thing like me so much instead of real life friends, may be if you trust them more than me then you will be saved from many drastic things and I can be free of pain that I know everything, still I am bound not to do or say anything……the pain that always make me remind that I am non-living…………….

So think about it before answering me……..

See you

Your Personal Diary

( P.S – This is my little effort of understanding the gals…….I know not an easy task but tried a lot to understand their feelings a bit through this post )

(P.P.S – Make friends to share feelings instead of keeping it up to you only)

Zindagi...........Lyf..............

Lamha Lamha Yuhin Gujar Jaayega

Zindagi Ka Safar Chalta Jaayega

Kabhi Hansayega, Kabhi Rulayega

Kabhi Gham ,Toh Kabhi Khushi De Jaayega

Kisi Ko Door Le Jaayega, Kisi Ko Pass Le Aayega

Har Din Ek Nayi Raah Se Mulaqaat Karayega

Raah Mein Kaanten Na Ho Aisa To Nahin ho Paayega

Par Un Kaanton ke Zakhmon Par Marhan Lagane Waala Bhi Koi Aayega

Wo Zakhm Bharenge Ya Nahin Ye To Aane Waala Waqt Hi Batayega

Par Hum Akele Nahin Hain Jahan Mein, Is Baat Ka Yakeen Ho Jaayega

Kal Kya Hoga Is Baat Ka Darr To hamesha Hi Satayega

Par Is Pal Mein Jee Le Mere Dost, Kyunki Ye Pal Khud Ko Dobara Nahin Dohrayega

Tears Of A Lover

Hi babe

Well we both know whatever is going on in our relationship. Though from this long relation I got millions of memories which are enough for me for my whole life and that is the reason even after knowing all your unfaithfulness I am with you coz I just can’t imagine to live without you. You too know that I know everything still you never seem to see that this is killing me every day…..every minute ……and every second. Still I am ready to bear this slow death for your sake coz I just can’t let you go.

But now I am fed up of this slow poison that I am drinking everyday. I don’t understand why you never think that I am the right person, why you always try to hurt me in one way or the other. I don’t know why you can never see my love for you or just that no one else can love you more than me.

But all this have no meaning now. I just want you to know that all this is over now. I don’t want to pile on and this I request you to let me free of this bondages. Instead of these small scars just take a knife and stab me right in the center of my heart. Stab me now for heaven’s sake so that I can be free from all pain coz if I stay more, then I will only fall in the deep valley of pain and sorrows.

You always say you care for me, for that care’s sake cut my throat and let all my love for you that is in my blood to flow from my body so that my soul is not indebted with any pain. I can’t kill myself coz my heart still beats for you and it will never let me part from you but my mind knows that there’s no better way of ending this. My life starts with you and that’s why I want to end it in your arms only, so come on babe ……please don’t hesitate. Coz it’s just similar to giving those scars that you have imprinted on me many times. Just the difference is that it will be a final one.

It would just act as a healing touch for the wounds on my soul……..

Hope you will not disappoint me this time

Your lover

Mystery Of Love And Lyf

(Vishal’s Room) (11 AM)

It was a very nervous day for all 4th year students. Coz next day they were having interview with a big multi-national company IBM for On-campus placements. Vishal & his batch mates were in his room and discussing all this. Sameer, his roommate, entered the room with two passes in his hand, “Guess what I have got? Vishal said,” No! Don’t tell that you have got them this time. This all is a waste of time only. Mind my words.” Actually, Sameer finally got passes for famous Tarot Card Reader, Madam Maya, for which he was trying from last 2 months. He wants to know that will they make it to placements or not. Vishal didn’t believe in all these things so he was least interested but with friends you sometimes left with no choice. In evening, they both went to Madam Maya’s place. After she told Sameer about his future, Vishal went inside.

Maya: “Hello! Vishal. I know you came here just coz of your friend.”

Vishal:”How do you now this. Oh yes! Sameer has told you.”

Maya: “You know he didn’t tell me anything. I know this, but I too know that you will never believe me.”

Vishal: “If you know then just tell me about tomorrow placements and let me go.”(In a calm voice)

Maya: “You will definitely get it.Coz No one else deserves better place then you.”

Vishal: “Okay! Thanks! I should leave now”. (In a rude manner)

Maya: “Are you sure you don’t want to ask anything more.”

Vishal: “No. I am not interested in knowing my future.”(In a straight voice)

Maya: “Not if it’s related to your past. Specifically, your love” (In a strange voice)

Vishal: “How do you know about it? What about it? “(In an angry but low voice)

Maya: “Love will again come in your life in next 2 years, but the cycle of past will repeat itself in a reverse way” (in a suspicious voice)

Vishal: “What do you mean by that? “(In a doubted voice)

Maya: “You have to find it yourself. You can leave now. “(In a calm voice)

Vishal have no other option but to leave but her words keep echoing in his mind. He told Sameer only about placements not what else Maya has told him.

**************************************

(Vishal’s Room) (2 AM)

Sameer was sleeping peacefully, while Vishal was still awake. He was sitting on his bed and switching table-lamp button on-off-on-off. (Tak-tick-tak-tick). He was in his past 2 years back:

(College Auditorium)

Vishal was in second year at that time. They have organized a Fresher’s Party for first year students of their college. It was a great night full of masti and bash.

Vishal and Shweta were dancing on the dance floor.

Shweta was Vishal’s beloved. They were friends from 10^th class but in college came closer and become lovers. They love each other very much; just Shweta is quite much possessive.

They were dancing beautifully. The song stopped and Mr. Fresher and Miss Fresher were chosen. Ruchi was chosen as Miss Fresher and Himanshu as Mr. Fresher. They get a chance to dance with second year students who were chosen Mr. & Miss Fresher in their first year. But that’s the biggest problem for Vishal. Coz he was Mr. Fresher last year and he has to dance with Ruchi now. But he can see Shweta’s angry face. Ruchi came to Vishal and they both dance. Vishal’s eyes were on Shweta only, whose eyes were burning like volcano. Finally, she took her bag and left the party. Vishal too ran behind her. She moves outside the college. Vishal was running from behind and shouting, “Hey wait.”

Finally he grabbed her and said, “Hey. What happened? Why you came out like that?” (Grasping back for his breath)

Shweta: “Why do you care? You go and dance with her. “(In an angry voice)

Vishal: “Hey yaar. You are making it a big issue. It’s just a dance.” (In a straight voice)

Shweta: “Yeah! I have seen that. How much closer you are to her. Go, she will be waiting for you.” (She’s getting heated up and started moving)

Vishal: “Ok Ok I am sorry. You know I Love You Only.”

Shweta: “I don’t care” (furiously)

She was crossing the road, while Vishal said: “I will die without you”

Shweta turned and said:” I will too”

Suddenly, a truck at high speed came and ………….

Only Vishal’s scream was heard: “Shwetaaaaa”.

Vishal get back in time and tears were flowing from his eyes. Only the words “Cycle of past will repeat itself” were still troubling him.

Next day Vishal get the best post as predicted by Madam Maya. Sameer too get a job but in a different city.

*****************************

(2 years later)(IBM’s Office)(9:30 AM)

Vishal was working on his project when a voice came, “Good morning Vishal”.

Vishal look up with a smile and said,” Good morning to you too Aakriti.”

Aakriti was Vishal’s project partner from last 2 years. This is their fifth project together and they are the best team. She was the only close friend of Vishal, as they used to spend much time together because of project, so they share many things of their life including about Shweta. Aakriti loves Vishal very much but never expressed coz she fear that she can loose a friend.

Aakriti: “So today too you stay here whole night. What is this yaar? You will get your health affected…” (In a concerned voice)

Vishal: “Yeah Yeah. I know that. But this is just going to complete now and after that I am free. Now you will give me lecture only or help me too in finishing it.”

They both completed the project and for their great work they are getting a promotion as well as their boss organized a party in their honour, the following night.

***************************

(Hotel Radisson) (9 PM)

Everybody was congratulating Vishal and Aakriti for their brilliant work. Vishal was looking very happy.Aakriti thought that may be it’s the right time to tell Vishal her feelings Aakriti forced him to dance with her, he was not interested but he has to.

While they were dancing, Aakriti came closer to him, put her head on his shoulder and said: “I Love You”. Vishal was taken aback. He was shocked hearing that words and he left the dance floor and sit on his table

Aakriti came and said: “I know you can’t forget your past. But you can’t spend life alone too. I really love you a lot from past 1 year but can never tell u as I fear I might loose you. “

Vishal was not hearing anything; Madam Maya’s words make his way back in his mind “Cycle of Past Will Repeat Itself”. Though, he too has little feelings for her But he don’t want to loose her friend too. He knows what she’s saying is right, but he just can’t ignore those words.

Aakriti: “Vishal! Vishal! Please say something…”

Vishal: “I have never thought about it. Sorry I think I am not the right guy for you.”(In a low voice)

Aakriti: “You are perfect for me. I love you the way you are. I just want to spend…..”

Vishal (interrupting her): “No I can’t do that. I love Shweta only and will do it my whole life. I can’t love anyone else ever” (in a high voice)

Aakriti: “Okay. Why you never care for my feelings? You love hurting yourself na by doing this but every time you get hurt, I too cry. Do whatever you want.”

With tears in her eyes, she left the party, Vishal went back behind her.

Vishal: “Aakriti please listen. I don’t want to loose a friend like you.”

Aakriti keep on moving on road without listening.

Vishal: “Plz Yaar I can’t afford to loose you.”

Aakriti turned back and said, “Neither will I…”

The past was repeating itself just as it was, Vishal know what was going to happen. He was looking around and just saw a speeding car coming towards her, Vishal ran towards her and……….

Only one scream was heard, “Vishaaalll….”

Vishal save her but he can’t save himself. He was crushed to death by that car.

Madam Maya’s words were not untrue. Just Vishal can’t understand them. He never gives focus on what she actually said. He focused on words “Cycle of past will repeat itself”

But forget that she said: “Cycle of past will repeat itself in a REVERSE WAY”.

Sometimes life play mysterious games in which we can never ever think of winning.

(P.S: Possessiveness is a good thing, but much of it becomes harmful many a times. Do believe your love or friends always coz sometimes it leads to great troubles & casualties.)

(P.P.S: Don’t believe on anyone’s word but if believe then hear then and understand them properly, coz incomplete knowledge is quite harmful)

(P.P.P.S: Mere Dost Kisi Se Mohabbat Na Karna

Mohabbat Karo Toh Poora Bharosa Karna

Kyunki Jab Jab Mohabbat Se Kisi Ka Bharosa Utha Hai

Tab Tab Kisi Na Kisi Aashiq Ka Janaza Saja hai…………….)